Mistress/Sub Relationship

 **A brief draft of thoughts on the subject**

Understanding a fetish is a unique talent. I define a fetish as an erotic sensation or action that sexuallly stimulates a person in such a manner that it becomes a great and intricate part of thier inner psycology. BDSM and fetish is not torture and inflicting severe pain, barking random orders and thinking that is the true meaning of Domme/Mistress. 

As a Mistress, I have taken the time to experience the fetishes that I use on my subs/slaves. My life partner *(since high school, I haven't been with anyone else in any way that is sexual)* and I have delved into various fetishes to experience, understand on a profound level, the feeling of these fetishes; bondage, humiliation all under my command and guidance, so I can derive pleasure. Not all acts I enjoyed, but it was to gain experience and play a character, to clear the path of me becoming a Mistress.  I ONLY performed these acts with my life partner and no one else. Let me say, it made me a better Mistress in terms of getting into the mind of my subs rather than just parroting orders and thinking this is what they enjoy. I would also like to say that I am in no way ashamed of  these experiences, nor do I regret anything, and it clearly shows I am proud of my sexuality as a cis lesbian woman. 

When a Mistress understands her subs/slaves well enough to act out their fetishes on her self making it as if she has their insecurities; one begins to understand the specific variation of such fetish in relation to that specific sub/slave and how they derive pleasure from it and most importanntly the methodology on how to excute such fetish with that particular sub/slave, in order to derive the maximum pleasures for both Mistress and sub/slave.

I have come to learn that most subs have peaks where thier desire to serve a dominant woman overcomes them and they must find a way to satisfy the urge, some of the time they get burnt as they did not take time to find a Mistress they can trust, be comfortable playing out the fantasy of their fetish. It is often a gruelling task to open up to a Mistress they don't know for the first time,  which is uncomfortable to say the least; as they are fearful that thier fetish will generate a negative response. The stories I have heard, was that all the Mistress/Domme wanted really was money and had little to no interest in the fetish itself. 

Once the urge of domination subsides, the subs/slaves will go back to living a normal life and try to forget they ever did the whole bdsm session as it shows they are not real men which can cause an inferiority complex. Often times, depression sets in and they try to forget and bury it deep in the abyss of their mind. 

I truly believe that living a double life is exremely difficult and tiresome, the truth will eventually come out and it will not be on the terms of the person (namely sub, sissy) but in a way that will be worse than if they just tore of the band-aid and said "This is who i am, I am not ashamed" and come to terms with it, regardless if they keep it private or come out with it. 

Now, some sissies are not in a position to divulge who they truly are and what they like in terms of sexual fetishes due to family, work this is something they need to sort out within time on their own. 

Meantime, all the acts are done in secrecy with a Mistress or Domme in hopes their secret is never revealed. I understand discretion is of the utmost importance for sissies/subs who are in the closet, so I take a unique approach to each sub/sissy that crosses my path. 

Now, for the taboo subject of Findom, pro-domme and the controversy and talk that the BDSM should not be about money but about the lifestyle. First, there is nothing wrong with charging for a service that is consenual safe between a domme and a sub with proper guidelines in place also it is after all the Dommes/Mistress time. There are subs willing to tribute. Those that are not willing to tribute, often troll and say things like "get a job". If you are that kind of person, simply move on and find a Mistress willing to accomodate your fetishes for free; it does not exist. 

In conclusion, the right Mistress is one who cares in some sense about the sub as a human outside of the BDSM play, she has  a clear understanding of thier fetishes because she experienced that side of the coin herself. Maybe not all fetishes will fall in line with what the Mistress does, but she keeping an open mind is key. 

One of my methods to put at ease my subs/slaves, is that I did some of their fetishes they ask me to do them, and experienced fully those fetishes myself by being on their side of the coin; such as wrting on the body humiliating words, face cum shots, sucking dick, light bondage, butt-plugs...etc. this is part of the experience I was intentionally seeking in order to understand the intricacy of the various fetishes. Keep in mind, this was done with my life time partner not random strangers.  I was in full control and I chose which fetish to try and how to do it, to make it as real as it can be. 

Therefore I can speak with my subs/slaves on their level, and delve into their mind on a manner where I can put them at ease to say, there is nothing wrong with your erotic desires and fetishes, I did them myself and you can see my content showing just that. Therefore, I tell them do not feel ashamed of of your fetishes.  This is natural sexual pleasure not a taboo to be shunned or hidden. 

Most sub/slaves when they find and speaks to a Mistress, they are immidiately asked by the Mistress about what they are into and then presented with her fee, these are the teltale signs that you are likely to  get burnt, possibly scammed and if you do end up in an actual session it will feel like a business transaction not a fetish fantasy being enjoyed .  

Mistress K